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[FIC] The Mechanics of Love [InuKai - PG]

Ugh, this is really bad ^^;. *pokes fic* But I said I'd post, so I did. This was inspired by this pic that I edited, and a conversation me and disutansu had. I may write more on this in the future, and try and make it not suck ^^. Ugh, really. *headdesk*

Title: The Mechanics of Love
Author: M snowym
Pairing: InuKai
Rating: PG
Warnings: Gratuitous number reciting, and 1 1/2 kisses.
Word Count: 1035
#29 - Fire; Water; Earth; Metal; Wood for 30_cracks
Note: Un-beta'd.

It had been a light and sunny day (not to be confused with a dark and stormy night).

All was right with the world, or as right as it could get for Kaidoh Kaoru. He won his match against Momo during tennis practice (even though the baka insisted he had been cheating). Nothing of the paranormal had decided to harm him. He had even stopped to pet a kitten on the way home, whose owner had actually thanked him, instead of blaming him for terrorizing the animal. Now, as he was finishing his last jog for the day, he felt like nothing could go wrong.

If something weird was going to happen, like it usually did, it would have happened by now. Probably.


“Wha--?” Kaidoh whipped his head around, almost falling as he lost the steady pattern his legs had fallen into. After managing to stop without slamming the pavement he scanned the area. He knew someone just called his name, and he could’ve sworn it had been... “Ah, Inui-senpai.”

Inui stood in the middle of the street. Kaidoh couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed him, as he stood leaning against someone’s car. All the sudden, a high wailing noise started, and Kaidoh gaped.

“Eto... Inui-senpai... What are you doing?” Kaidoh was genuinely confused at this point. His senpai leaned against a blue Mitsubishi outside of someone’s house he didn’t even know, as it cycled through its variety of different car sirens, as if nothing were wrong.

“What am I... doing? A198237... I am talking to my kouhai.” Flushing a bit from being referred to as Inui’s kouhai, and then frowning a bit from a gut-feeling of something seeming amiss about this whole situation, Kaidoh shook his head. No, Inui did not just say a random string of numbers. Or if he did... Maybe he was thinking of some data he was collecting. Or something. Dammit, it was definitely getting hard to think with that car alarm going off.

“Senpai, if you want to talk, can we please go someplace else? I’m starting to get a headache...” Kaidoh winced to accentuate his point, as an especially shrill buzz sounded throughout the area.

“Ah, yes. Someplace else. Why don’t we go to... randomizing... P83612 Madagascar?”

Once again deciding to ignore the numbers uttered under Inui’s breath, Kaidoh worried his lip between his teeth. Madagascar? Had his senpai completely lost his mind? Just because he had had an exceptionally normal day, didn’t mean everyone else had. Deciding to humor his senpai, he forged onward in the strange conversation. Plus, the alarm was getting louder, maybe he had misheard Inui. Hopefully.

“Why don’t we go to the park instead? Its right down the road.”


After a short walk, the car alarm could hardly be heard anymore, for which Kaidoh was thankful. As they both sat in relative silence on a bench in the park, Kaidoh’s face flushed as he dug his heels into the dirt.

Why had Inui wanted to talk to him anyway? This was almost like a... like a... Like a date. Not that he’d been on a date before. Well, he almost had one time. With Inui... sort of, although nothing had come of it. His cheeks turned from their light pink tint to red. Kaidoh heard a soft “IS247” from Inui, before the press of palm on palm and fingers threading preoccupied him.

“Senpai... hand... Ah.”

“Yes Kaidoh, hand,” Inui said, lightly squeezing their intertwined fingers. “Bench,” he added, gesturing towards the bench they were sitting on. Kaidoh ignored that too. Today must have been really stressful for his poor senpai. Instead, he concentrated on the feel of their linked hands. This was like a dream, he couldn’t believe Inui was holding his hand. He allowed himself a tiny smile as he stared fixedly at his feet, which had now dug ruts into the ground.

“Kaidoh.” Inui’s glasses glinted somehow, even though the sky was darkening. “I like you.”

Shoulder’s stiffening and eyes wide, Kaidoh couldn’t believe what he had heard. Inui-senpai likes him? Even if this was an alcohol induced haze on Inui’s behalf (which Kaidoh had eventually chalked Inui’s strange behavior up to), Kaidoh couldn’t help himself.

“I... I like you too.” Kaidoh admitted, as his cheeks turned from red to a fierce shade of scarlet. As he glanced upwards to see how the other boy would react to his reciprocation, he saw Inui leaning towards him. Oh yeah, this came next, didn’t it? A kiss...

Kaidoh’s eyes slammed shut, as he slightly pouted his lips and waited. His first kiss. As he waited, he couldn’t help but note that the air smelled of flowers and fire. The flowers added to the dream-like feeling of the whole situation. And the fire... Kaidoh furrowed his eyebrows.

Yes, something was definitely burning.

Kaidoh’s eyes flew open, and to his horror, Inui was on fire. All of him. Scrambling away from the burning teen, cries of “L32789298127894!!! TR37490!!! PWN7349817083825903729!!!” rang in his ears, before his senpai’s imminent explosion.

Kaidoh fainted.

“Kaidoh... Kaidoh, are you ok?”

“Senpai?” Kaidoh regained consciousness to the feeling of Inui cradling him in his arms. “Didn’t you just...” he trailed off, glancing over to where his senpai burst into flame not very long ago. Sure enough, there lay Inui’s torso on the ground next to the bench, leaking oil everywhere.

“Ah. Who’s that?”

“Inui version 2.4.”


“So... You like me?”

“Umm... yeah.”

Kaidoh couldn’t help but notice that Inui’s hands felt a lot warmer than Inui 2.4’s did. That was a good sign.

“So... You’re Inui 1.0, right?”

Inui smirked. Leaning down, he brought his and Kaidoh’s lips together.

They could talk about Inui two-point-whatever’s later. Even though the air still smelled like a combination of flowers and fire, at least Kaidoh’s crush didn’t burst into flames again. So much for a normal day, if that was what he was looking forward to at the moment.

Oh well. At least there weren’t any Kaidoh 2.4’s. Right? Kaidoh’s gut clenched in fear, but he ignored the passing thought. Of course not. Maybe.

Kissing now, robots later.


( 41 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
May. 29th, 2005 10:31 pm (UTC)
O.O. EHHH?!?!?!?! *super flail*

I'm amazed that you guys liked it. I reread over what I wrote (I just sat down and wrote it all in an hour or so), and I *headdesk*'d a few thousand times, and then posted ^^;. But I'm uber happy that you thought it was funny, it makes me feel all honored and stuff, yay ^^!
May. 29th, 2005 07:37 pm (UTC)
*dies laughing*

ZOMG, that was absolutely hilarious. Just completely, utterly hilarious. XDDDDDDD I am seriously going to laugh every time I think of this, for the rest of my life XDDDDDDDD I love how Kaidoh just sort of takes it in stride when Inui tells him about Inui 2.4, ZOMG

...you should write more often. Really. *glomps you*
May. 29th, 2005 10:39 pm (UTC)
Eh, Kaidoh's a pretty laid back guy... Kinda... -.o. *thinks* Ok, maybe not, but I figure after all the stuffs he gets put through in PoT, an Inui 2.4 would be nothing ^^.

... Write... More? AK7893268917808959873829658302671 ... I will try. *GLOMP!!!* I have hardly any bunnies, but I ought to finish up the few other things I'm working on before I worry about plot bunnies. Maybe I'll have you put me on the phone with Shadow-chan sometime. That'd be fun ^^. *makes devious plans*
May. 29th, 2005 07:40 pm (UTC)
Ugh, this is really bad ^^;. *pokes fic*


Gah fine, next time when I post, I won't censor my own self-degradation-ness. We'll see whose fics suck worse. *crosses arms*

That aside... *pampers your fic because it's so unloved* *I* don't think you're "really bad" or that you "suck." Come on, Robot!Inui fic. What's not to love? *snuggles the fic* I do feel sorry for Inui Version 2.4 though. XD;;
(Deleted comment)
May. 29th, 2005 10:50 pm (UTC)
Zomg, Sock'em Boppers! Sock'em Boppers have the kinkiest jingle I have EVER heard in my entire life, I think ^^. It will forever haunt my brain:

Sock'em Boppers!
echo: Sock'em Boppers!
More fun than a pilllow fight!
Blow'em up, put your hand inside,
and get ready for the time of your life!

If that isn't the InuKai themesong, I don't know what is. o.o
(Deleted comment)
May. 30th, 2005 01:10 am (UTC)

*prods you*
(Deleted comment)
May. 30th, 2005 01:38 pm (UTC)
Hah, that was a font size 7 prod, not font size 6 ^^. THIS is a font size 6 prodding:

*prods you*

O.o. Blow up doll ^^. That would be sick/amusing. I wonder what you'll do instead, I look forward to it! ^___^.
(Deleted comment)
May. 30th, 2005 02:21 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure what is so alluring about the fonts, but they are much fun ^^. =^.^=

Must... find... Sarah... *must help her in the journey to make Ci write a blow-up doll fic* ^_____^.
May. 31st, 2005 02:47 pm (UTC)
Well, you should see font size 1000. Wherever it is... Where is it again M? XD


Ah, here it is.

Be afraaaaaaid. *also prods you to write* XD
May. 31st, 2005 03:15 pm (UTC)
Font size 1000 ^^. *holds it dear to heart*
May. 31st, 2005 02:42 pm (UTC)
I got "bop" from M and I don't know why but Sock'em Boppers NEVER crossed my mind. XD I really want to buy one now. XDDDD
May. 29th, 2005 10:47 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, but I did honestly think it was bad. I reread it though just a bit ago, and it did amuse me, so I'm not in hate with it anymore, I promise ^^! So now that I've revoked my self-degradation-ness, you're not allowed to have any either in your next fic... I'm sooorry! *bows* And I already know whose fics suck worse, there's no contest. *coughMcough* I mean, seriously. You are TEH HELEN, there's no comparison ^^.

Don't worry, Inui 2.4 will probably be reborn as Inui 2.5 very soon. Inui will think of new reasons to have robots of himself ^^.
May. 31st, 2005 02:53 pm (UTC)
Good. *pokes* And I'm glad you weren't all "omgthissuckssobad" in Mint Love. XP You should know what self-degradation-ness does to me!!! *has encountered too much of it in the PoT fandom* My goodness you guys are have like... no self-confidence. *snuggles you allllllllll*

*bops you with a Sock'em Bopper*

Yay! I like Robot!Inui. XD And you gotta make Robot!Kaidoh appear sometime. X33333
May. 31st, 2005 03:20 pm (UTC)
I help back on self-degradation-ness juuust for you, since you always attempt to eat my soul everytime I do it ^^. And yes, I have no self-confidence. *is snuggled and feels slightly better about self* ^^

*is bopped with Sock'em Bopper, but has fun instead of being in pain*

Robot!Kaidoh ^_____^. The "fshu" noise gets stuck on loop sometimes, and Kaidoh 2.4 just sits there hissing for hours.
Jun. 3rd, 2005 02:43 pm (UTC)
Why doesn't my soul eating work on Kish? *is sad* So much self-degradation-ness... It'll make ME feel bad that I feel semi-good about myself. Then it'll make me feeling bad for feeling bad for feeling semi-good. Then I'll feel worse...

And no I don't think I made sense there. T-T

Inui Ver.2.4 would be able to stop the hissing with some kissing. *nods*
Jun. 3rd, 2005 02:54 pm (UTC)
O.O!!! Get out of that viscious cycle NOOOOOW. That's just not healthy. *glomple* ^^.

Inui 2.4 is deeeeead though -.-. Maybe Inui 2.5 and Kaidoh 2.4 can be happy together? Make some sparks fly? (.........) *dies from teh pun of DEATH*
Jun. 4th, 2005 09:45 pm (UTC)
The cycle is evil I know. *sigh* I can't help it though.

But what about Kaidoh 2.5? Who will he be happy with!? Then it'll be Inui 2.6 and Kaidoh 2.5... but what about Kaidoh 2.6? Grah! *brain cracks*
May. 29th, 2005 11:24 pm (UTC)
PWN73498170838 *DIES* XDDDDDD

Can I have an Inui version 3.72? I figure that model wouldn't blow up.
May. 29th, 2005 11:32 pm (UTC)
Yay, you caught my stupid intentional-ness ^___^! *gives you a cookie*

You can indeed have him, but sadly, he will blow up. They all eventually do. But by that time, they will start coming with flame-retardant jump suits that you can wear around them, just in case of explosion. So you'll be safe, no worries.
May. 30th, 2005 12:03 am (UTC)
XDDD ^_________^-

Awww... well that sucks... but is he at least reparable should he blow up?
May. 30th, 2005 12:07 am (UTC)
Yeah, he's repairable. I feel like I should insert some kinky line here about automail attachments, but that's the wrong anime ^^. *cough* But no worries, you'll have a shiny Inui-bot, whom will only occassionally blow up.
May. 30th, 2005 12:12 am (UTC)
<3 Sexy.
May. 30th, 2005 03:01 am (UTC)
Haha, this really cracked me up. XD That Madagascar bit reminded me of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!

Nice one. ^^

So... what will happen when a Kaidoh robot and an Inui robot get together? Simultaneous explosion due to sensory overload? :O
May. 30th, 2005 10:49 am (UTC)
o.O. You caught me ^^;. Hitchhiker's did indeed cause me to think of Madagascar, when I was trying to think of a random place. The book is on my shelf and I was all "O.O!! Madagascar!"

I'm glad you liked it ^^. *glomp*

I have no idea what would happen, but it would be a fiery, sexy outcome I'm sure.
May. 30th, 2005 03:55 am (UTC)
XD XD XD Hilarious! I especially liked the image of Kaidoh waiting for his first kiss... particularly when he opened his eyes to see his new boyfriend flaming (as it were). :D Great job!
May. 30th, 2005 10:51 am (UTC)
I'm supah happy that you liked it ^^. It definitely encouraged me to crank out more scary things.

O.O. *stares at your icon* Inui 1.1!!! That's so great ^^. I swear to go I didn't steal this idea off your icons ^^;.
May. 30th, 2005 11:34 am (UTC)
*grin* I have version 1.2 too. I can't claim credit, though - I nabbed them when myreasoninlife posted them to a comm a while back. They're cool, aren't they?! :D
May. 30th, 2005 12:03 pm (UTC)
So very cool ^___^! Inui is so a robot, there has never been a doubt in my mind. But Kaidoh still <3's him. Because yeah, he's Inui.
May. 30th, 2005 09:23 am (UTC)
LMFAO! Morro you rock. Inui v2.4

*hugs you to death*
May. 30th, 2005 10:52 am (UTC)
*is hugged to death* x.x

Ghost M: Yay, SS likes my fic ^^! *is happy, and eats some ectoplasm in celebration*
(Deleted comment)
May. 30th, 2005 02:25 pm (UTC)

*revives* Ectoplasm is not for eating young lady...
Jun. 1st, 2005 07:37 pm (UTC)
XD That was great! Love the fic, M! ^_^
Jun. 1st, 2005 08:52 pm (UTC)
Yay, Cat likes another one of my fics! *pulls a string, and confetti rains down from the sky*
Jun. 1st, 2005 09:02 pm (UTC)
Your fics are hard not to like. ^_^
Jun. 1st, 2005 10:06 pm (UTC)
Oh, you sweet talker, you.

Hey, I've got an awesome super secret undercover covert mission for you this week, 'kay ^^? KEEP THE STAPLERS AWAY FROM KISH. I better not call Kish tomorrow, and she be stapled to death. That'd be entirely depressing -.-. Heeeeey... do you have a printer? Maybe you could print off Helen's 'Inui birthday-fic' for her to read. She's so sad about not being online for Inui's birthday o.o. But at the very least, you must keep any and ALL staplers away from her ^^. Pleeeeeeeeeeeease? ^^;.
( 41 comments — Leave a comment )

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