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I was just eating lunch while randomly watching TV, and I was shocked by the blatant LIES.

Get this. Some kids are trying to break pieces of wood with their bare-hands, and their karate sensei refuses to let them have a break. I didn't see that their hands were broken or bleeding, so I didn't feel too sorry for them. Then one of the punk-assed kids mentions the magic word that makes the building automatically explode. Yes. Captain Crunch. So automatically, a whole wall is blown out, because that bastard, Captain Crunch, decided to dock his ship in this poor guy's karate building. All the Cap'n has is cereal. You think that pays for demolished walls? Anyway, so the kids are so happy to have ruined their sensei's business and life, yelling "Cap'n, Cap'n!" And like a saint, the karate teacher just wants to impart his gift of learning unto the children, and admonishes them for breaking his building in half, by telling them to practice more. And then my mind was blown. Captain Crunch got up on the port bow or hull or whatever part of the ship it was, and proclaims:

"I have a blackbelt in breakfast."

What? Is that even possible? And frankly, would a blackbelt in breakfast beat a blackbelt in kicking-someone's-ass? I think not. Snap his neck, sensei.

I think the kids still hopped on the damn bastard's ship or something. I don't really remember, because I was in SHOCK. Oh TV, why did you lie to me? Have you been lying to me all these years? I feel at a loss now. Blackbelt in breakfast, indeed. Don't think I won't look into this.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
umbrellaofdoom
Jan. 10th, 2006 11:38 am (UTC)
LOL!
I wish I had a black belt in breakfast... All I have is a brown belt in brunch.
chibimono
Jan. 10th, 2006 01:45 pm (UTC)
Damn that captain! He has no right to be called captain! If I ever see him on the ocean waves, to Davey Jones' locker I'll send him! YARRRRR...n!
snowym
Jan. 12th, 2006 09:54 pm (UTC)
O.O! Yay, I have the leader of the Yarnimonos on my side! Let's take this bitch down. *puts Cap'n Crunch on the black list*
hopeless42
Jan. 10th, 2006 06:56 pm (UTC)
Damn the Captain and his yummy berries of crunch!
(Deleted comment)
snowym
Jan. 12th, 2006 09:53 pm (UTC)
I was telling my dad about this, acting all angry, and he thought I was very concerned about this matter. Man, I love being able to deliver just about anything with such severe deadpan, people can't tell whether I'm being serious or not.

But of course, I was being totally serious. Can we please go kick Captain Crunch's ass now? But by that, I mean you kick his ass, because you're all fighta'y. I'll cheer, ne ^^?
(Deleted comment)
snowym
Jan. 13th, 2006 10:35 am (UTC)
Go go Meganes~! O.O. *slumps over sadly* I am not a megane, should I go stare into a flashlight for a couple hours to fix this? Eh, my vision is kinda going, I'll be a megane within a few years, I'm sure. One day I will be elite and nifty!
(Deleted comment)
snowym
Jan. 14th, 2006 10:11 am (UTC)
Ah, but still, oh to be a Megane ^^. *snuggles Trinity, and magically heals her eyes*

i will treasure my eyessssssssssss, they ares like gemsssss!!
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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