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[FIC - FF:AD] Going Back [PG - Zax/Cloud]

This fic is pretty not great, but I wrote it when I watched the Final Fantasy: Advent Children movie 3 or 4 times in one week, and decided to post it anyway XD;. Cloud is to angst as a moth to a flame, and we all love him for it ^^;.

Title: Going Back
Author: M snowym
Fandom: Final Fantasy: Advent Children
Pairing: Zax/Cloud (mentions of Cloud/Aeris and Cloud/Tifa)
Rating: PG
Warnings: angst! mild language! and more angst!
Word Count: 224

Before there had been Aeris,
before he met Tifa,
before there were any of these devastatingly important people that he’d easily give his life for in and out of battle,
there had been no one.

But a little while after that, there had been Zax.

Before the mind-fucks and fuck-ups, he’d been a lowly soldier, while Zax had been one of the best in SOLDIER. They met, they fought alongside one another, and their friendship had morphed quickly into one of those things that Cloud had needed to wash himself of, because he couldn’t live on remembering the exchanges and experiences between them with the way Zax is now.

Zax is dead, and he accepts that now. Cloud can finally accept everything that did and didn’t happen, within and outside of his mind.

Even so... sometimes even now, when Tifa presses her lips to his, he can almost feel a ghostly presence taking over him, taking him back. Zax had understood him. Aeris had understood his haunted looks. Tifa accepts the ghosts that haunt him now. That’s all that Cloud asks, even if it’s too much. And when Tifa gives him that smile that holds just a bit more pain than happiness, he knows it is.

So he drifts back again to that time that it had been Zax smiling, and his heart clenches.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
disutansu
Oct. 25th, 2006 01:28 am (UTC)
*doesn't really know what's going on but it's okay!* Advent Children rocks on all levels. And in actuality, Zax/Cloud was the first pairing I stumbled onto, which led me to yaoi so I'm really grateful to them. X3 And aw, I took out my Vincent icon. *squishes M-sama so*
snowym
Oct. 29th, 2006 10:00 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure if I know what's going on either in the fic, so it's okay ^__^V. It was written on a weird whim, when I was bored in a random basement in a random building while I was randomly on campus. Which actually happens to me a lot, so it's fun when I get nonsensical fanfiction out of it XD.

I wasn't a fan of Zax/Cloud really, until I saw Advent Children. Cloud is such the angst monster, and needs a time machine so he can revisit his manfriend XD. It seems you're grateful to Zax/Cloud in the same way that I'm grateful to Heero/Duo ^^. Yay for being hooked on yaoi <3!
disutansu
Oct. 30th, 2006 09:40 pm (UTC)
So much randomness! But it all so awesome. XD M-sama is so talented you see! To be able to come up with a fanfic in some random... circumstances and stuff.

I stumbled onto a site with a background of Zax/Cloud while looking for bishounen pics and went "omg..." That was my first exposure to yaoi. XDDD
snowym
Oct. 30th, 2006 10:27 pm (UTC)
I was searching for Duo Maxwell on google.com, and stumbled across The Darker Side of Duo Maxwell, where the very first fic I ever read was... well, it was really, really smutty XD;. I was so shocked. Now I'm such a perv, and I should probably thank this site for that for that first complete submersion into gay!boypr0n XD;;. I should go back and reread some of that stuff, to see if it's really as twisted as I thought it was. It probably is ^^;.
disutansu
Oct. 31st, 2006 03:08 pm (UTC)
I think the first site I stumbled onto is down. I remember trying to find it back in the day but it wasn't there anymore. Aw. ^^;

And and, I think I've been there before. XD *shall poke around there*
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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